You know you're getting old.

1974: Long hair
2005: Longing for hair

1974: KEG
2005: EKG

1974: Acid rock
2005: Acid reflux

1974: Moving to California because it's cool
2005: Moving to California because it's warm

 1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
 2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon  Brando or Liz Taylor

 1974: Seeds and stems
 2005: Roughage

 1974: Hoping for a BMW
 2005: Hoping for a BM

 1974: The Grateful Dead
 2005: Dr. Kevorkian

 1974: Going to a new, hip joint
 2005: Receiving a new hip joint

 1974: Rolling Stones
 2005: Kidney Stones

 1974: Being called into the principal's office
 2005: Calling the principal's office

 1974: Screw the system
 2005: Upgrade the system

1974: Disco
2005: Costco

1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2005: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1974: Passing the drivers' test
2005: Passing the vision test

1974: Whatever
2005: Depends

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?” "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and don't even have any idea who J. R. is.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading.